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Death's Duel
I started reading John Donne's sermon Death's Duel (which he wrote shortly before his own death) today, and I want to post a part that I found interesting.

First, there is a short introduction, and then I marked the beginning of the most interesting part by bolding the first few words.

( Excerpt from Death's Duel )

.-.-.-.-.

I find this interesting, and especially that he mentions Samson. As far as I remember, Samson basically committed suicide:

Judges 16: 29-30: And Samson grasped the two middle pillars on which the house rested, and he leaned his weight against them, his right hand on the one and his left hand on the other. And Samson said, "Let me die with the Philistines." Then he bowed with all his strength, and the house fell upon the lords and upon all the people who were in it.

This, Donne confirms by saying that it can be said that he "actively" went out of this world. I find it interesting that one could say that he includes suicide into his "it doesn't matter at all how we die" catalogue of possible deaths.

Any thoughts?

And I'm not really stating anything or looking for a particular discussion. I just read it and found it interesting.

Current Mood: busy

screeeeeeeeeeeeeems!
No fireplace today.

The two pieces of granite that go on either side of the fireplace are too tall!!!

I. Am. Mad. What's beyond mad, because that is what I am. It's absolute granite so it has to be cut at the factory... and they can't tell me when it will be cut and ready because it has to go aaaallll the way to a factory two hours away. [heavy sarcasm]

I'm just going to have Sol take the fireplace man out back and shoot him till he's dead! Or maybe a slow death would be more apropo... like a death that takes as long as it takes them to finish this fireplace!

OCMC Invites Families to Experience an Orthodox Mission Team
For the first time, OCMC is offering families the opportunity to participate together on Orthodox Mission Teams. Four 2010 OCMC Mission Teams are open to parents and youth who are prayerfully seeking exposure to the important work of making disciples.

Family Teams allow youth (13 and above) to travel with a parent to offer their time and talents as living witnesses to the Orthodox Christian Faith. If you want your teen to have an opportunity to serve others around the world and to be involved in missions, then consider joining a 2010 Orthodox Family Mission Team. This year’s Family Team destinations are: Eklutna and Old Harbor, Alaska; Shen Vlash, Albania; and Cluj, Romania.

The Eklutna Team will travel to the oldest continuously inhabited Athabaskan Indian settlement to work on light general maintenance to the church of St. Nicholas (cutting shrubs, trimming grass, painting the cemetery, and fence and walkway repairs,) and by offering historic tours of the Church. The Albania Team will assist in the daily activities and ministries of the Children’s Home of Hope in Albania. The Romania Team will join ASCOR (the Student Association of Orthodox Christians in Romania) in offering a Youth Camp outside of Cluj to middle school-aged youth. The Team to Old Harbor will participate in the annual Family Camp offered to youth and adults on Sitkalidak Island. The theme of the camp will be “Christ in the Eucharist, Truly a Subsistence Food.”

All of the 2010 Family Teams have been carefully chosen to allow youth to develop relationships with their Orthodox peers and learn about new cultures. Language barriers melt and horizons are broadened as families put their faith into action and share their Orthodox faith.

An Orthodox Mission Team can be a life-changing experience. Family Teams are perfect if you have teens who love Christ and helping others and if your family is seeking spritual growth and a deeper understanding of the universality of the Orthodox faith. An OCMC Family Mission Team is a great way to begin a journey that will have a profound impact on your lives and the lives of others.

For more information or to apply for one of these Family Teams log on to http://teams.ocmc.org, or contact OCMC by phone at 1-877-GO-FORTH or by e-mail at teams@ocmc.org.

Did Not Our Hearts Burn
by Jesse Brandow

After spending nearly two weeks in Guatemala, I arrived back in the United States exhausted and inspired. I hoped to write sooner to share my experience, but I needed time to readjust to life here in the States. It has been nearly three months since I arrived home, and only now am I beginning to understand my trip to the Hogar Rafael Ayau (Hogar means "home" or "orphanage"). My time at the Hogar was so packed with sights, sounds, faces, and prayers that I have a difficult time truly sharing it. Yet it has meant so much to me that I have to share it with you! So I'm putting ink to paper as I begin to tell what God has done for me in Guatemala.

As the plane flew into Guatemala City, my eyes were glued to the window. The sprawling city had no massive skyscrapers to challenge the mountain peaks, which shot up on all sides. It was nothing like Chicago's huge apartment buildings or New York's jutting skyline. Here thousands of shacks littered the ground, and my team of ten was headed to the worst district.

Entering the orphanage felt like entering a small fort. It fills an entire city block, and its huge walls keep the children safe from danger. We had to be cleared by guards, who rolled back the gate for our van. Once inside it was easy to forget the world lurking outside those walls: gang fights, drunken parties, and prostitutes. The days in the Hogar were filled with so much joy, but sometimes at night I would suddenly hear the outside world: men arguing and a woman crying for help. On the first day we met the children in church. Each day began and ended in that same house of worship. The children came to services freely and sang all of the songs from memory. Although the boys and girls were a little mischievous in church (they’re kids after all!), they managed to stand for over an hour of services each day, singing in their native tongue. How I miss reciting the Lord’s prayer with them in Spanish, watching them carefully light beeswax candles, and walking up together to receive communion.

Our simple purpose was to love the children. Some of them were abused before coming to the Hogar, others never knew their parents. So what the children needed most was good role models who made them feel like unique and beautiful children of God. More practically, we were there to organize a week-long summer program called 'The Chocolate Train', which stopped at many “stations,” including the game room, pool, bakery, and art room. I find it hard to describe to you how full each day was, how special each moment. I played foosball and checkers in the morning and then baked cookies with a dozen children. I jumped in the pool before lunch, then juggled paints, pencils, and crayons in the art room. So many stories fill in the lines of this single paragraph, each one deserving to be told.

Before we left, Madre Ivonne asked each of us to write down the most memorable moment. I’d like to share what I wrote so you can hear one of the stories that crowded the lines of my journal. It was one of those rare moments when a person shines in all his inner beauty. One morning I was sitting on the grass when five or six of the cutest youngsters mobbed me, each one of them begging for attention. Then, with all of them climbing on top of me, one hand popped out in front of my face. I looked and saw Kevin. He has a healed cleft lip, some silver false teeth, and a hard time speaking. You might not guess how special he is. All the other kids desperately wanted me to devote my attention only to them, but Kevin just wanted to give me something. I looked into his hand and saw that he had found a little bug. I held it for a little while before giving it back. That was enough to make Kevin smile so big that I could see his silver teeth. He just wanted to share a little treasure, and the simplicity of his love melted my heart. Imagine 100 children like Kevin who want to know that someone has seen who they are and loved what they saw. Those 100 at the Hogar are part of the 370,000 orphans of Guatemala, all born to broken parents in a broken world. Some were neglected, others were actually tortured, and their scars remain with them forever. Thankfully, 100 children are protected from much of the world's evil by the Hogar's walls. Yet the line between love and hatred cannot be found in any physical barrier. That line runs through every human heart. The process of healing begins when the children are brought into the Hogar. As they grow, their hearts open up, and they begin to trust the nuns, staff, and Mission Team members who love them unconditionally. I thank God that I was a small part of their lives. Perhaps with God's grace I helped some of them to know how beautiful they are.

When my mission trip ended I did not want to return to the U.S. Here I find it difficult to keep focused on love when my vision is crowded by computer screens, hip clothing, and bold advertisements. There may be fewer orphans in the United States, but just as many people need love. Everywhere the world is broken. In Guatemala it is obvious, but here materialism plasters over the cracks. Sometimes I wish I could see the cracks plainly so it would be easier to focus on loving the people around me. But the love I shared at the Hogar still gives me hope that by focusing on Jesus Christ I will be able to heal others through love and to be healed myself.

We all need healing. What God showed me at the Hogar was how to live without despairing at human suffering. The world is dark, but that does not stop joy from shining through the Hogar. By putting Christ's love at the center of life, the nuns have built an amazing home for the children. In spite of all the painful stories I heard there, I have never felt so much joy anywhere else. More and more, I hope to live in the joy of Christ, for only he can heal our souls.

Please remember the children of the Hogar in your prayers.

P.S. You can find links to my picture albums at www.didnotourheartburn.blogspot.com

Book Review: Story of Your Life and Others by Ted Chiang
I found to my surprise that I never posted by Amazon.com review of Ted Chiang's brilliant (but to my taste too nihilistic) STORY OF YOUR LIFE AND OTHERS here on my livejournal. Let me rectify that oversight at once. ( Read more... )I also have a longer discussion of my discontent with the titular short story posted here.

it's either going to be bliss or piss

The fireplace peoples called and said they'd be here around noon today to finish the fireplace. *little hopeful yay*

If they don't show up, or if the mantle is the wrong size again, I'll have Sol forward all of your sympathy cards to

( The Wacky Womans Home )

More on the City+ What is mission? +finally a joke
Friends,
Notes and asides:

1. Notre Dame must fire Charlie Weiss and get a
new coach, Brian Kelly of Cincinatti would be my choice.
I mean with that name what can be bad?

2.Nabokov posthumous novel the original of Laura
is out and mine has shipped from amazon!

3.Yesterday's seeing the Chrysler
building with mist about its art deco spire reminded
me the the feeling that there is a certain glory in
the City (any city to be sure) that one sees or that
manifests , from time to time, here or there..

This is perhaps why I like the 1994 film of The Shadow
it seems to show a certain inwardness of the City appearing
out of the mist like its strange Hotel Monolith...

Or at a higher level the painting of the City by Jonathan
Drayton in All Hallows Eve. Read if you will and
if you have not or do not remember ( Read more... )
4."made of light as well as everything else" cf the medieval
Robert de Grossteste "De Luce" on the universe as expansion
of a point of light.

5.Preparing brief address for OCMC(Orthodox Christian Mission Center)
Banquet. It would seem, and it may be, that my qualification for
addressing you is in my years in Japan, after that perhaps trips
to Russia in recent years, but it seems to me that when I say a prayer
before making a phone call or writing an email or talking with a clerk
in a store, that this encounter becomes mission and that what was real
mission--sharing of life and faith and hope--in those foreign works
was not different in kind from this.

This strikes me as a good paragraph? I will put it in.

6.Simple Joke remained in my simple mind from a friend.
A man goes into a chinese bar
"I want a stoly."
bartender looks at him says
"alright--'a man goes into a chinese bar...'"

we all have pronunciation limits and I know mine, any sound not
american, so I hope this is not somehow politically incorrect but
what amuses me is not that but the circular quality of it...
a stoly is of course a shot of stolichnaya.

7.Traditionally here there is a picture...Let us put one more
of the Chrysler building Saturday night seen from in front of
Grand Central. Composition from this angle lacks the leaves in
the upper right but it can go with at least part of this entry,
as always I invite all your response, yours
+Seraphim

.
Another angle of Chrysler Building, Saturday night.

November 16, 2009
Daily Devotional

The Spirit and Our Walk( Read more... )

Does getting through a defeat feel more like crawling than walking? Thankfully, the Holy Spirit is right with you, and He has all the encouragement and power necessary to get you on your feet again. The Christian life can’t be lived alone—rely upon God’s Spirit to escort you each step of the way.

In Touch Ministries................................

November 16, 2009
Daily Devotional

The Spirit and Our Walk( Read more... )

In Touch Ministries................................

Blessed are they that keep HIS Testimonies, and that seek HIM with the whole heart.

Psalm 119:2 KJV

Current Music: Twila Paris - We Have Seen Your Glory (John 1)

Blessed are they that keep HIS Testimonies, and that seek HIM with the whole heart.

Psalm 119:2 KJV

Current Music: Twila Paris - We Have Seen Your Glory (John 1)

QOTD
"You are rich the moment you recognize you have so muich more to give to this world than you will ever need to take from it."

from 2012:Crossing the Bridge to the Future by Mark Borax

Those durn Monkeys
LJ'a being difficult loading today for some reason...I could have slept through the page loading it was so slow!

Thanksgiving menu
Turkey & Cranberry Ravioli
Sweet Potato Casserole (recipe by C.)
Green Bean Casserole? We have to have some kind of healthy dish! Maybe a big salad...
Pecan Tarts
Raspberry Marzipan Tarts

And last but not least - my classic toll house chocolate chip cookies. I seriously can not find a better cookie I've ever tasted. I know how to make them PERFECT and light colored with the morsels in tact and they stay soft!

Warclub Radio - Ep 22 Now Streaming! Go listen!
Warclub Radio - episode 22 is now available and streaming!!

FEATURING:

AUGUST BURNS RED
VEIL OF SUFFERING
SANCTIFICA
MAJESTIC VANGUARD
BESIEGED
DISCIPLE
EXTOL
BRIDE
UNASHAMED
RENASCENT
BLOODLINE SEVERED
MY SILENT WAKE
KLANK
SOMETIME SUNDAY
STAVESACRE
DELIVERANCE
BLINDSIDE

Now available for your listening audio pleasure:

http://www.veilofdisdain.com/radio.html

OR...

CLICK HERE TO STREAM IT DIRECTLY!!

A Question on Gender...

Warning: This entry x-posted to jesusfreaks and christianity

First a little back-story: I recently came across a website after following a link referring to Mr Herbert W. Armstrong, who's life & philosophy I've found somewhat interesting for a couple of years now. The website was for 'The Restored Church of God' in the US, which I believe has ties with 'The Worldwide Church of God' also in the US (in fact, as far as I can tell the WCoG seems to act exclusively in the US, despite the name, but I could be wrong). After looking quite thoroughly through the site contents I came across some literature that one could order free copies of, however it stated that if you live outside of the US or are a US citizen but not a member of either the RCoG or the WCoG, you were/are required to give an explanation of the reason you want the literature. I thought, ok I'll fill out the online form. I gave some brief details of my background and the work I do for God who chose me to be one of His ministers to pass on part of His message etc., and that I felt that the literature would be interesting and at the very least help to widen my perspective on the various forms of Christian worship all over the world. The response I got was not only fairly unsatisfactory, part of it I found quite insulting...

And here we come to the main point of my entry: As well as stating that the literature would be far too complicated for me (for reasons not clearly explained), Mr Robert R. Farrell (the head of the RCoG, who personally replie to all emails sent to the church via the website, apparently) actually said... Well, let me copy and paste it, so there's no mistaking it:

"You mentioned that you are one of God’s ministers/messengers/preachers. Just so you know, please understand that God does not permit women to be ministers in His Church. You may find the following articles helpful in regards to who should be God’s ministers and ask should you preach to others at the following links..."

Not the best grammar or sentence structure in the world, but no-one perfect. The point is that his church teaches that women cannot teach or be ministers/messengers/preachers in His [God's] church! I personally found this, not insulting because it wasn't said in a patronizing way, but hurt and definitely a little confused. So I did some research and indeed, just as there is still a vast movement (most vocal in the US, but that's not to put down American's, it's just that others seem to be more tight-lipped about it unless actually asked about it) who do not believe that anyone under the umbrella category of 'LGBT' can call themselves Christian much less have any kind of voice in the church, there are also still a great many people who believe that women cannot teach, preach, minister or have any other kind of standing in the church. Some say that it's ok if they minister to or teach other women, but that women should not have anything close to spiritual authority over men.

So my questions to the community are: Do you agree; should women (like myself) be allowed to be ministers/preachers/messengers of/for God, if God Himself has called them to do so? Do you think that such a calling is a delusion or a lie from Satan? Are there any specific part of scripture that lead to you answer one way or the other, or is it valid to say that when it comes to using scripture to answer such questions, personal interpretation plays a key role?

I really would like to hear your answers, even if some others might think that you're insulting me. Believe me, telling me that you agree will not insult me. Ask any questions you like, and I shall endeavour to answer and converse with all of you.

With my love,
Steph xx

P.S. ~ I apologise now if this subject has been raised before, but I missed it.
P.P.S. ~ I am happy to provide links to the articles recommended by Mr Farrell, if anyone wishes to read them.

Current Mood: curious

18:19 Whoever made "capitol" (bldg) and "capital" (city) different should be dragged into the capital city and pushed off the capitol building.

18:21 One of @jasoncrouch 's friends suggested that the principal Principal's principle caused him to err as an heir of language.

23:47 RT @AnissaMayhew: "drag me to hell" is possibly in the top ten crappiest movies I've EVER seen. I think a gypsy cursed me to watch it.

23:49 Saw "Seven Pounds" w/ @jasoncrouch the other night, about a man who gives his body & blood to save a lot of people. Story sounds familar ;o)

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter

the cult of Mary
Hello, I am currently reading about the rise of the cult of Mary in the Christian West and I was wondering if any of you know of any (preferably scholarly) books on the development of the cult of Mary in Byzantium. Thanks!

Spanish Sacred Art at the National Gallery, London
If any of you get to London, you might be interested in this exhibition, The Sacred Made Real, at the National Gallery.

Here's a slide show:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/artanddesign/gallery/2009/jun/09/spanish-art-national-gallery-exhibition?picture=348593276

And here's an article:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/artanddesign/2009/oct/25/sacred-made-real-national-gallery

You see six rooms of sacred paintings and sculptures from the 17th century Spanish hyper-realism period. This artistic movement was part of the Counter-Reformation, trying to inspire new religious devotion by making the statues and paintings of Christ, Mary, and the saints as life-like as possible. The statues were multi-media collaborations. They were first carved in wood and hollowed out so they wouldn't be too heavy, then painted by different artists. Eyes were made from glass inserted inside the sculpture's head and real human hair was used for the eyelashes, real bull's horn for the fingernails. Sometimes glass pieces were used for tears. Cork bark painted red was applied to resemble blood, ie in crucified Christ. Hair was made of hemp that was then plastered and painted.

These statues are still used as devotional art in churches and in processions in Spain and this was their first appearance in a museum as part of a secular exhibition. After the exhibition they go back home to their original churches.

It was interesting to watch people's reactions. Some of the people were like: okaaaay, *this* is weird. Then you could tell who was Catholic because they seemed to be wondering if they should genuflect before remembering that they were in a museum and not a church, lol.

Today's Prayer from Os Hillman
Dear Heavenly Father,

I come before you to ask a special blessing of health and prosperity upon the poor. Though they may be poor in the eyes of the world, may they be rich in spiritual blessings and happiness. Though they may live in meager shelters or be homeless, may they find warmth and love. Though they may not have material possessions, may they have food to eat, clothes to wear, and place to sleep.

I pray that this season, this year and in the days ahead, every need be met whether spiritual, emotional, or physical. I pray that doors will open, people will reach out and encourage, jobs and education will be available, and sufficient housing will be provided. I pray that the sick will be well, the disabled will be enabled, the bound will be loosed, the scared will find courage, the hopeless will find hope, the lost will find salvation in Jesus Christ, our Savior and Lord. Please have mercy...and please use those of us who have to minister to those who have not. Guide, direct, protect us, Father. In Jesus' name I pray and give thanks.

Amen.

Current Mood: sleepy
Current Music: "The Actor" by Michael Learns to Rock

human fear and divine love
I would like to remind us today that in our faith, sin is not all we have to think about. The bible does have the big theme of sin and redemption, and sin and punishment, but I strongly believe that our christian religion isn't about these things only. God isn't interested only in our sins. And forgiveness isn't everything Jesus wants to give to us. There is also room, great room, for simply enjoying life WITH God.

In my view, original sin actually is the desire and finally the practice of living life without God. This desire can come about through pride, but it can also come about through fear. And when we overdo the whole theme of sin and its consequences, this coupled with our human propensity to fall and to fail the ideal, this can lead into a lot of fear.

I believe it is essential that we develop peace with our Father. And one part of the way getting there is finding and seeing the many mercies of God which He has put into our lives in so many ways. Wouldn't it be good to become more attentive to these mercies? Not just to receive them on the fly, but actually with open eyes and open hearts?

Many years ago when I was still a seeker I made the horrible mistake of believing that I had to hate the world, the Earth actually. I felt I was meant to see the Earth as a terrible place, a place that only holds hostility to the righteous, and that not just from man, but from plants and animals, from the sky and from the ground.

But thank God, this is not the truth. God gave us a world that is really beautiful, and with the application of some wisdom, it is a safe world to live in. Consider this bible verse:

Yea, I will rejoice over them to do them good, and I will plant them IN THIS LAND assuredly with my whole heart and with my whole soul.

Jeremiah 32:41 (emphasis mine)

We shall not be rootless. We shall not wander the world like ghosts. God does not demand a lot and then leave us on our own. Instead He prepared a Promised Land for us, which is this world, and of course He finds it pleasing if we love it deeply. How could it be different?

Take some time and try to always let God into your life, not just when it comes to your sin and to your sufferings and to your fears. You are born again in Christ, you have new eyes. These new eyes are very keen on seeing things in nature new to you, the hint at God which lies in the beauty of autumn leaves and calf eyes, in the taste of peanut butter and a good beer.

I don't mean to draw you away from resisting sin and pursuing righteousness. But I am concerned that sometimes we might forget and forego on a beauty in our lives which is entirely unnecessary and pointless.

Draw closer to God in all things, not just in the difficult and heavy things! He is your Father! He is our Abba and our Shepherd!

God bless!

The Baron. Pushkin's Tragic Vision. The Chrysler Building in a Glory of night.
Friends,
Yesterday was the last day of Pushkin's Little Tragedies at
the Baryshnikov Theater and we, a group of his friends, saw Peter
Von Berg play three roles and in particular that of the Baron in
"The Knight Miser". Here is Peter as Baron. and some other
pictures( Read more... )
and as you see I have added some thought on the Little Tragdedies.
After, good pasta and wine and talk and then coming to Grand Central
Station I saw the Chrysler building strikingly radiant in the mist
after a day of light rain. I put a small image at the end but here
it is larger( Read more... )
I realized again and newly what a beautiful building the Chrysler
Building and what a beautiful place the City is...
and perhaps you will enjoy seeing it with me here,
and as always inviting all your thought on these things or on
anything else at all, yours
+Seraphim

.
Perhaps it is partly the mist, like the fog of sherlock holmes' London
of romance, but we see a New York of romance don't we? Is that City always
there within the city if not always as clearly visible as here...?

The Mendicant Movement - Book Recommendations?
Can anyone recommend any good books on the beginnings and history of the mendicant movement? Thanks!

Next we will Rescue Cavor from the Kalkars of Sulva!
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/space/6564304/Nasas-LCROSS-mission-proves-once-and-for-all-there-is-water-on-the-Moon.html

I love this headline:

Nasa's LCROSS mission proves once and for all there is water on the Moon. A new chapter in space exploration has been opened up after Nasa confirmed that their mission to bomb the Moon had found "significant quantities" of frozen water.

Any headline that contains the phrase "NASA confirmed their mission to BOMB THE MOON had found..." is a winner.

While this does not necessarily mean that the Va-Gas are roaming the interior seas of the Moon, it does mean that a moonbase, should one ever be constructed, would have some local naturresources to draw upon.

Being sick and finding whole in God
Yesterday was my most sick day of all. There was the possibility of surfing in the afternoon, so I took myself off to uni in the morning to type up my notes that I'm allowed to take into my exam. It was a real mental struggle though. Surfing didn't happen, but I'm kinda really glad for that as I spent the afternoon watching DVDs, trying to nap, photo editing, reading... things that involve sitting or lying down. I woke up at about 7:30 this morning and still feel a bit off, but with more energy than yesterday.

I don't like being sick at all.

Being sick without family. When I lived at home and was sick, Mum took care of me. She made me dinner and made sure the house was still tidy and so forth. I didn't have to worry about the logistics of living.

Being sick without family means being sick without company. Because Dad's a minister, if he's not out doing pastoral things, then he's at home working on his sermon and doesn't mind being interrupted for chats during the day. Thus, company.

Being sick impairs my judgment. If I'm going to take things the wrong way, I will. If there's a depressing way to look at things, I'll see it. I HATE being sick because I end up feeling sorry for myself and like no one likes me and everyone's just putting up with me. I have these insecurities anyway, but when I'm healthy I can push them aside as the lies they are. But when I'm sick, they come to the front of my head and reign there. Which SUCKS!!

I could insert some kind of self loathing, self hating, whining spiel here and I'm SOO tempted. But I don't think writing about my insecurities will help me get over them. Also, I think my motivation for posting it has more to do with fishing for compliments and inviting people to say nice things about me - which is rather egotistical when you get right down to it. So let's just leave it at: I want to post about how I feel lonely and crappy, but I won't. But I feel it!!

I should clarify. So far, I've posted: this is why I don't like being sick. What I haven't posted is: I'm so ugly, obnoxious... blah blah blah etc.

In completely different news, I've been listening to Desiring God on audiobook by John Piper and it's very good. I've been learning to delight myself in God, to rejoice in him. My Christian walk has been much spurred on by it. It seems to ring of much truth, that as a Christian, my joy and desire is found in God and in relating to him. So often, my heart wants to run after relationships with people to fulfill me and I know in my head that this is not right, that people will disappoint. It is nice to know that this desire for someone else to bring me fullness, wholeness, love, joy, hope, peace... everything I've desired in an Earthly relationship, can actually be found in God. And I've been learning that too. Still need to work on how I relate to people now, and working on my expectations and so forth. But learning to desire God is such a good thing.

My heart is filled with thankfulness
to him who walks besides
who floods my weaknesses with strength
and causes fear to fly
whose every promise is enough
for every step I take
sustaining me with arms of love
and crowning me with grace.

Edit at 12:05pm I'm feeling much better physically after showering and going out. And I feel SO much better emotionally after church. I love my church! <3

Current Mood: drained
Current Music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aSrAhzVD6Lw